Grace
There are days when I feel like such a failure. A failure as a father. A failure as a son. A failure as an employee. A failure as a musician. A failure as a Christian. A failure as a human being. An utter failure. Often, this feeling comes when I am overwhelmed - or tired - or I’ve been attacked in some way. Sometimes, when I feel like a failure, I make bad choices and the self hatred is only further intensified. I say that I believe in God’s grace, but I often find it hard to accept myself as imperfect. There are times when I just break down emotionally and I feel so stupid. The smallest thing can set me off and I have to wonder why I’m so weak. Why can’t I be more even-tempered like most men? Why do I still feel like an insecure child? Why am I so easily hurt? Why do I still desperately long for my parents’ approval? Why do I still crave connection with people who have discarded me like trash? Why do I keep looking for peace in the wrong places? Triggers come in all shapes and sizes