Holidays
Holidays are often emotional. I’m proud of myself when I can get through any holiday without a breakdown. I’m sometimes more irritable and less motivated. Often, I experience a low grade anxiety. I usually try to do a lot of mental preparation for the holidays. I try to allocate some time for reflection. It helps to write down my feelings and record my thoughts. It helps to talk to a therapist. Moving to another state has helped as well. Making new friends (and keeping in touch with old friends) has made a huge difference. Yet there are times when I regress - times when I am intentionally or unintentionally drawn back in. A couple weeks ago, I made the mistake of going through old Gegner family photos and videos from the early 2000’s. We used to have what seemed like such a good relationship. The family devotions before Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner. My mom’s phenomenal cooking and the piles of food - mashed potatoes, gravy, corn pudding, green bean casserole, an assort